I'm so tired. I'm tired of the pain. I'm tired of the constant struggles. I'm tired of it all. I go on. I have to. There is no other choice. The days of strife are constant and I know not what to do. I am caught in a vicious cycle of pain upon pain upon pain. I can't take much more.
I'm irritable. I'm cranky. I'm downright hostile sometimes. I can't stand the constant pain. I sometimes wish I wasn't disabled. I can't change my circumstances; but I guess I could change my attitude. It's just that lately, the pain has been worse and all consuming. I wish it were different sometimes.
Light sensitive, sound sensitive, cold sensitive, I can't stand the sensitive's. Sometimes I feel I'm losing my mind. Sometimes it is too much to bear. I don't know how to survive it.
My friend is no different in his struggle and that doesn't help. No matter how much I push him away, he clings harder. When I tell him the truth, he accuses me of lying. I tell him I want him out of my life and he doesn't believe me. I'm struggling there, too.
My son just had surgery for his tonsils and missed 3 weeks of school. That was stressful for us both and recovering from surgery and then making up all the school work he missed was a major ordeal. I've had to deal with teachers who acted like he was supposed to be there even though he had surgery. The quarter just ended and he still has a few assignments to go. UGH!!!!
At any rate, I'm going to, once again, try a new doctor and see where we go from here. I'm also dealing with a new diagnosis of Diabetes and I'm not liking it. The meds make me feel sick to my stomach. YUK! Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. :)
