Frustrations!!!!

I'm so tired.  I'm tired of the pain.  I'm tired of the constant struggles.  I'm tired of it all.  I go on.  I have to.  There is no other choice.  The days of strife are constant and I know not what to do.  I am caught in a vicious cycle of pain upon pain upon pain.  I can't take much more. 

I'm irritable.  I'm cranky.  I'm downright hostile sometimes.  I can't stand the constant pain.  I sometimes wish I wasn't disabled.  I can't change my circumstances; but I guess I could change my attitude.  It's just that lately, the pain has been worse and all consuming.  I wish it were different sometimes.

Light sensitive, sound sensitive, cold sensitive, I can't stand the sensitive's.  Sometimes I feel I'm losing my mind.  Sometimes it is too much to bear.  I don't know how to survive it.

My friend is no different in his struggle and that doesn't help.  No matter how much I push him away, he clings harder.  When I tell him the truth, he accuses me of lying.  I tell him I want him out of my life and he doesn't believe me.  I'm struggling there, too. 

My son just had surgery for his tonsils and missed 3 weeks of school.  That was stressful for us both and recovering from surgery and then making up all the school work he missed was a major ordeal.  I've had to deal with teachers who acted like he was supposed to be there even though he had surgery.  The quarter just ended and he still has a few assignments to go.  UGH!!!! 

At any rate, I'm going to, once again, try a new doctor and see where we go from here.  I'm also dealing with a new diagnosis of Diabetes and I'm not liking it.  The meds make me feel sick to my stomach.  YUK!  Oh well, in for a penny, in for a  pound. :)